Continuing his “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington” routine Michael Farrand Bennet is spending some of his $4.8 million campaign war chest on a new television commercial that strongly suggests that Bill Ritter’s personal senator believes Coloradans are suckers – or at least that enough can be suckered in order for him to win his first real election.
The commercial toggles between the U.S. Capitol in Washington, D.C., and scenes from Washington County on Colorado’s Eastern Plains. Bennet, who grew up in Washington, D.C., and has lived in Colorado for a mere 13 years, wants us to believe that he’s a regular Joe, just a common, hard-workin’ good ol’ boy.
The script is mercifully brief, as Bennet narrates (and thinks that no one else is wise to the truth):
“In this Washington (D.C.), they spend money they don’t have.”
I should know. I voted for the $862 billion stimulus spending spree that created imaginary jobs in fantasy congressional districts, while real-world unemployment grew worse.
Then I supported the $400 billion omnibus spending bill – with over 9,000 earmarks – that increased spending by 8 percent, even though the economy was in recession and most Americans were tightening their belts.
After that, I voted to increase the debt ceiling to more than $14 trillion, but I still say I’m a fiscal hawk because I issued a press release saying that I supported a “Deficit Reduction Act” which never comes close to balancing the budget.
I told Harry Reid to use reconciliation to pass the trillion-dollar health care reform bill that nobody likes – except those wacko lefties whose votes I need to win the Democrat primary come August.
All of those bills spend money we don’t have and put our children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren deeper in debt.
“In this Washington (County), families are looking for ways to get by.”
I was looking for ways to let people know I was a U.S. Senator when I first discovered that Colorado has a Washington County. I think you can see Nebraska from there.
“Here (D.C.) special interests have too much power.”
But that’s not such a bad thing when they write checks to help me bury my opponents with special-interest campaign contributions. That must make me their “special” interest.
“Here (County) people are looking for someone to stand up for them.”
Just like I stood up to the teachers union to make sure poor, minority kids in D.C. could go to schools where they could be safe and get a good education.
Well, that’s what I would have done, but being a U.S. Senator, as Joe Biden likes to say, is really a big effing deal, so I needed the teachers union’s money for my campaign more than those kids needed a good education.
“This Washington (D.C.) is broken.”
And the only time I’ve bucked the broken establishment is when Senator Gun Control – that’s what they call Chuck Schumer – said it was OK for me to vote for guns in national parks.
But, when I get elected for real, it will be different.
“This Washington (County) is looking to get to work.”
Can you believe they don’t have a Starbucks in the entire county? How do they get going in the morning – especially before the heater in their hybrid SUV warms up?
“I’m Michael Bennett and I approve this message because I know what Colorado families are going through and I know things need to change.”
Does that sound sincere enough? Because I really have no clue what it’s like to have a tough time making ends meet. Heck, I could almost pass for a Kennedy. The only job I’ve had that didn’t depend on a paycheck from taxpayers was that stint with Phil Anschutz that brought me to Colorado in the first place.
OK, are we finished? Good! Now, I can finally take off this chore coat. It smells like – well, I really don’t know, but it must be the smell of some sort of farm animal. Ewww!